New beginnings

Well, first off, from my family to yours, merry belate Christmas, and happy (belate) new year!





May this year be a one filled with love, happiness and joy (and can I add for my own self sleep? - thanks to this little bundle of love...:)



We have been very busy during the holiday season, and so I decided to really focus on my family during this time.



Transitions and special occasions are always a little hard on my oldest son, and in those times, he always requires more mama time ;) (bless him!)

When I was a kid, I used to really love Christmas, but not so much new year's. I never really quite understood why, probably because there wasn't as many traditions attached to it compared to our Christmas celebrations. But in the last few years, I have started to appreciate more this day, as I see it with new eyes. We still don't have many traditions attached to it, but I now see it as a new beginning, a fresh and clean slate for the upcoming year. A time to pause and congratulate myself for the good things, and ponder over the not-so-good ones. And this year, this cleansing process, this assesment of 2010 was necessary. I really want to make (again) some more changes around here, I am ready to go onto another level of personal growth. I needed to really take the time to analyse what changes I want to establish which one to priorize and how to make all this happen.

2010 has been a year of research. A year of learning: new things, new philosophies, and also learning about me, my family and about llife in general.

2011 will be a year of appliying this, of making it happen, making the changes I am longing for. And I am excited. SO many possibilities seems available to me, it feels great.

So what is in store for me (us) this year?

Returning to work part time in september after having spent a whole year with my last born son (my last year of the kind sadly :( )

and maybe officially homeschooling my then-6-year-old son, whom I am doubting more then ever will start school at our local public school

Dealing with 3 soon to me mobile kids...that should by itself be a challenge!

and implementing those changes that I feel my family is ready for. Going to another level of APing, of sustainability, to keep on working with my oldest son (more about that in another post), continuying on making our house our home, changing our ways of doing of speaking of thinking in so many situations.

So it should be an exciting year. I hope you'll stay along to share all of this with me!



goodbye 2010, hello 2011!

The colors of dawn

this morning, as I was about to have a fit with DD's shade that didn't want to pull up properly, I saw this (after receiving the said shade on the head because it fell on me...) through the window. I took the kids out for a minute and we just looked at the pink violet sky that lay over us.

I got a quick and powerful reminder that happiness really is in the littlest things, things that goes unnoticed if we don't take the time to stop (or to be stopped by a falling shade...)



have a great day!

End of the babymoon

Like every good thing, our babymoon as come to an end. Today, Pumpkin is 6 weeks old. I have a hard time beleiving that six weeks has passed since my little love's arrival. 6 weeks of kisses, babywearing, rocking chairs, and having an angel fall asleep in my arms day and night. It has been bliss.



I cannot even begin to say how grateful I am that we were lucky enough to have this little boy sent to us. He is a blessing to me and our entire family. They say that our kids have much to teach us, and I can say that this has proven to be true for us. My first born son has taught us patience and tolerance! But this one, has something to teach us about patience, and spirituality for sure. I am sure he is somehow still connected to heaven, and he is sure teaching us about reverence and gratitude.

This morning was a hectic one. But yet, he managed to fall asleep in the crook of my arm while I was rocking him, eventhough both Pea and Peanut were running around and making an aweful lot of noise. He fell asleep calmly and peacefully, I saw both his eyes just close between 2 smiles. And that moment made me cry. I stared at him for the longest time, just still amazed at his presence and the serenity he made me feel looking at him. I wish I could have stopped time, RIGHT THEN, for the longest time.

If only we knew all that we know after 3 kids when our first born arrives. THis moment was a blessing, one that we often miss in the turmoil of the day. And if I had not taken the time to just observe it, I would have completely missed it. No fret, there will be other moments like that, I remember thinking when I had my firstborn. And yet, now after 3 kids, I understand that no, there is not all THAT much other moments like that and that they should not be missed, because otherwise they are just lost forever.



And right after this moment, we all went outside. While I was attending to Pumkin, I turned around to see Peanut riding her bike up to the street, put her helmet on, snap it, and off she was. All of this, all by herself...and yet, I feel like it was yesterday that she was in that pram, all tiny and helpless. It made me realize how times just goes too fast, and all of thoses moments that I spent with the other 2 are now a distant memory, and they will, sadly, become the same thing with him sooner then later.

If you don't want your life to pass you by, you have to take the time to look. You have to take the time to stop. This time with my last son is for me really important. And I will miss it very much. It saddens me to think that I will vaguely remember this time, but not with the clarity that I wish. Many of the thing that were our life a few weeks ago are now just a memory, things that I again, tought I would remember! (Nipple pain anyone?)

Yesterday, ironically, I finished reading Mittens string for God, a book that I adored. And it made me understand that I am not the only one to live through all the changes without seing them. We only realize that something have changed once we look back, once it is too late if we didn't stop to savor whatever life brings us: "I suddenly realize how much that I cherished has slipped away even as I tried to give it voice, only to be replaced by new ways of doing and being." We have no power on time, and the fact that it makes us moves on. But we do have the power to enjoy and cherish the present moment. It is hard sometimes do remember that when we are in the heat of the moment, but we have to, otherwise, moments like the one I lived this morning, and that makes it all worthwhile just vanished without even being noticed.



If this post has a sad tone to it, maybe it is because that is the way I feel. I am mourning the fact that I will never get a chance to meet a new tny little being that is the addition of myself and the man I love. I will never get the chance to smell the sweet smell of my newborn baby, to have the chance to witness the first minutes of life of a little being, these minutes that have amazed me every time. I will miss that time, a time that has taught me over the years that the best thing that I made are my kids and that my true purpose is to take care of them. This is what I do best.

And I am scared. Once they are all grown, once they don't need me anymore, what will life hold on for me? What is left in store for us mothers when our kids are gone?

WHile I am writing this, he is deep asleep right beside me. I can see in his face the trait of the little man that I meet for the first time 6 weeks ago. But I also see new features (like a 2nd chin... ) that tells me time is acting again, and that I must savor every single moments that I have left with him as a baby. Off to do just that.

The beauty of nature

We have been some feeling of autumn recently around here. A light chill in the air, a shorter day with the arrival of mister night earlier then a few weeks ago, havest time slowly starting at the farms, and the swimming pool that is getting cooler (not to say colder...).

But before we let go of summer, we wanted to enjoy it a little more, and see it's splendor.



We went to a favorite spot of ours, a field of lavander that is not so far aways from our home.

It is always a pleasure to go and picnic over there amongst the bumblebees



and the delicate smell of lavander.

It was Pumpkin's first outing, and although we usually try to push this as far as possible not to carry him around while he is still tiny, this place is such a haven and a delight for the eyes, the nose and the soul that he actually seemed to enjoy it as much as the rest of us.













I can see myself years from now (when I have a lot more sleep into me...) just lounging into a place like that and just look enjoy the view.



in the meantime...I shall keep myself busy with my 3 loves.

reaching a little balance

which was much needed.

I have been very busy trying to get ready for homeschooling, and preparing everything for the olders once the baby gets here.  I can feel a shift in my mood recently where I feel like it is time to plan and get ready for the newer...  I think this shift is happening all by itself while I find myself being more and more ready as far as work and projects for DD and DS.

I can certainly feel the nesting effect slowly starting to make it's way in my daily activity.  I have been cleaning, and rearranging, and sorting, and purging...although maybe the arrival of spring has something to do with it...

A quick trip to Ikea really helped to ease the effect for a few days, but really that is it.  I can feel it coming full force again today



I am also feeling strongly drawn back to my first loves as far as creating (although making Montessori material is fun, I still have a deeper love for knitting and sewing...).  I got out the scarf I have been working on for a while, that was *almost* forgotten in my WIP drawer.



And while that, the kids have the time to rediscover their barn and have a few minutes to just let their imagination run wild.



But I can see that toys is not their thing.  They like the real world, learning about everything, touching everything, making art projects.  Untoys are still much more interesting to them, and have always been. And I don't have to look very far to find them some material.  They find it by themselves, and create whatever they want to with it.

They have a sweet spot for this farm, but I think they do because they have been on a farm a couple of time, able to help, touch, see, and this is what makes it interesting.  In fact, DS was commenting this morning that there are no farm persons to go with the farm...  Good things his b-day is comming.



Unfortunatly though, the end of semester is almost here.  And I can see that the next few weeks will be really crazy with corrections mostly.  So this pause in time before the end rush is a necessary balance, and I plan to enjoy it as much as I can until I no longer can...

The colors of Easter

As far as I can remember, I have never seen an Easter being so hot.

It was incredibly hot, and yet, there were still some spots of ice in my swimming pool...how weird was that. That allowed us to do a first round of BBQ in the backward, which was absolutely delish. At some point, we even had to try to find shade, because the sun was just so darn hot. But we enjoyed nontheless, but had to be careful that the chocolate, for the easter hunt, would not melt (a problem I never anticipated before...)









And of course, some artwork is always a good way to end an egg hunt...



I hope you had a lovely easter, whatever you did, and whatever the temperature was...

The food of Autumn

Autumn is definetly here, and along came with it the wonderful flavors of the harvesting season. We had a family gathering and made a really good "bouillie" as we call it in french (a stew I guess) made from the many vegetables of the season.

The beans, all attached with kitchen string by yours truly...

Some steaming hot beets, they were just delicious!!! And with a little home made dressing with dijon mustard and tarragon as main ingredients, they were finger lickin' good

And with all family gathering come a good table, and good wine. (and good sangria!)