This path we are on... - finding a rhythm

it is a new one, one that I have never explored before, and although we have our ups and our downs, I can see that we are getting there.  Oh yes, we are!

I have been reading a lot, reading new books, re-reading old ones, and thinking.  I think my brain might actually be overworked from all this, but it has been / is helpful.  I am taking bits and pieces of many educational philosophies, and we are making it our own.  I love how it feels that I am before a blank canvas, and I can make it look however we want to.

We are still through this deschooling phase, but I am not sure whether it is X or I that still needs it the most.  Deschooling is a weird phase.  It is like meeting somebody that you have known forever in a brand new light, showing new aspect of this person.  It is like starting anew, and getting to know each other again, all while trying to undo and unthink what you have been taught all your life about school and learning.
 It is fun, it is weird, it is hard, but it is worth it.

I started feeling adrift though.  The days were so much different one from another while we were trying to catch our wind, and this is something I cannot live with.  So the thing we have been working the most on lately is rhythm.  I have always believed in the necessity of rhythm, and I also know how X is in dire need of it.  I thought this would somehow appear into our days after a few days of homeschooling/descooling, but it did not, and truthfully, it made me feel anxious, and so did X.    I never knew how the day was going to go, or what way we would take, and so at some point, I decided that putting a rhythm to our days was mandatory.
It feel a LOT better know.  For everybody.  Really.

Now that learning has taken its place in our day, it is happening.  At a new rhythm that I am not used to.  This type of learning is clearly new to me, but I am starting to see and experience it's beautiful sides.

X has told me yesterday that he didn't understand why we were not "working" in the morning (pointing to the cupboard of Montessori material I have available to him).  I asked him if he wanted to do something, and he promptly said NO.  I think he sees the importance of learning, but it is still imprinted in his head that learning should be boring and compulsory.  He quickly added that although he didn't like math and language, he loves drawing like we have been doing every day for a while.   Obviously his love of drawing was somehow shielded during the only school year he went though, and it is clearly  being fed by a new passion that I have never seen in him.  Educating through art is definitely on my mind lately, and in most of the books I am discovering or re-discovering with new eyes.

I think that we both need a bit more time deschooling, but we are both getting there.